This post may shock , I do think that readers won’t like it. “If you chose to have a baby you must sacrifice as the Lebanese love to say”, LOL.
I know all that and all the bla bla, but I felt the need to write the feelings I had for some weeks, I wanted to write this post before, but I didn’t have time and the force to do it. If I’m writing this post now, it is for me not to forget the feelings I felt the first 3 weeks…
It is not a post related to social, political or human activism. It is a personal post about my personal feelings.
Parenthood: the very difficult and exhausting beginnings.
Waa waaa waaa, baby is crying.
You usually master what you do, and what you learned. At school, University, Work, even in your relationships.
Here, hearing the waa waaaa waaa, you feel lost, and you DON’T know what to do.
You studied and prepared yourself for the upcoming phase,
You watched video’s , surf the net, did research, talked to your fellow friends who already have babies, and tons of them,
Nothing prepares you to what you live in those first 2 weeks.
At the hospital the first days are easier, nurses take care of some of the main duties (changing diapers, giving bath) and when baby cries they come and help in calming him.
Coming back home,
all the rooms changes. Even if you have prepared a nursery!
All new born stuff are here and there, in the Kitchen, in the Library, in Your room, On your bed…
it is the first days “karkabeh” ….
But it is not the were the point is. it is more than that,
You feel tired after your delivery and can’t understand what is happening when baby cries all the time.
Diapers are clean, baby is showered , he is not “mamghouss” he is not “mchawwab”,
what is happening???
you cuddle him, you sing, you dance, nothing helps.
Yes maybe after trying all the “salaam salaam” and “fi zill himayatiki”,
the “tirachrach” song with the dance helped in calming the baby for 4 seconds!
what was the problem I understood 2 days after coming back home:
I chose to breastfeed exclusively.
I found out that THIS was the most DIFFICULT choice in this phase.
the first 2 to 3 weeks, you first feel a CRUCIFYING Pain,
yes, it is not as easy to learn the Breastfeeding positions, how to help your new born latch, and how to make him eat without falling asleep.
Moreover, the baby will need to eat ON DEMAND. the first 2 to 3 weeks it means ALL the time.
Something that I have read soo many times before, but didn’t understand, and if you hear some of the pediatricians they will tell you , “lachou el azeb” breastfeed for 15 minutes, and if you want give some formula (milk for babies), they will sleep for 4 hours at night.
Grrr…. The World Health Organisation, and the very well known book “j’eleve mon enfant” and the other readings I Did, they all advise you to Breastfeed for at least 4 months.
this is how I made my choice.
but for me who usually got time to read, blog, watch tv, answer phone calls, work, cook, sleep or whatever other thing,
this Breastfeeding on demand MEANS I don’t have time for anything. NOT EVEN GO TO THE BATHROOM, or have a proper shower!
More than that, you usually know that communication and dialogue will help you Resolve problematic issues at work, with your peers, in your community,
with your newborn, NO. the first weeks communication is resumed to I want to eat, and please change my diapers!
You will do that EXCLUSIVELY on the first weeks.
I Wasn’t prepared to that 🙂
neither physically neither morally. especially when you don’t sleep neither at night nor day!
when baby cries “I Want to eat”, AND for a breastfeeding mom, THIS means you will be sitting all the time for the baby to eat.
While sitting you can’t do anything, …. hmmm let me correct it: you can watch SOAP operas on TV, the Turkish one’s translated in Syrian, I know all of them now , I even watch the morning shows of most of the TV Stations. And I discovered that the French TV stations are dull also, they still have the MORICO TV SHOPPING emission! (with a different name of course Tele Shopping in the morning! ).
for those who usually enjoy multi tasking , run here and there and do many things,
with your new born on the first 3 weeks, you can’t .
I enjoyed the fact that I was able to take a mini shower one afternoon, without hearing the constant crying 🙂
On the First month birthday a change appeared,
yes, I was able to get 2 hours sleep on the morning! yes This was an achievement!
Friends, and family members coming to visit and congratulate us were shocked when I said that NO Mother ever explained her feelings of the first weeks. Moms are Heroes, this is what I understand now after those 3 weeks experience!
I repeated to all my friends, that they must be Prepared MORALLY and Physically to the first 3 weeks,
those are the hardest. No SLEEP, no Rest.
the first 3 weeks you ask yourself…. are babies truly cute???
THE CHANGE, Begun after those 3 weeks:
now at the 5th week, yes, we enjoy parenthood ….we enjoy it.
YES 🙂 Finally, we begin to play to mom and dad roles with a broad smile,
baby hears you, watch your face if you are close, and a beginning of communication begins.
you will still feel like a “Lurpack” but, you will do it with more pleasure.
at the End, a big thanks to those who helped those first weeks:
my hameto, my cousins and my close friends with whom I talked day and night on the JN growing up group on whats up, my old comrade from school lama, and a group of people I don’t know on the real world, just on the virtual one, but they were a big help “the breastfeeding in Lebanon” mothers group on Facebook.
I can’t forget the role of the husband…. mine is a sweetheart, and the one who pushed me to continue and not to stop. Yes his constant support and encouragement helped a LOT, and here we are, sitting together, him having diner and me having time to share this story with you, with a sweet lovely baby sleeping in his crib…. Peacefully 🙂 for half an hour I presume before his number 24 Snack of milk again 🙂
Rita, em JN for now….